Well. I have never stayed up an entire night for school before. In fact, I always made it a point not to, as sleep to me was a much more valuable commodity. Oh don’t get me wrong – I have certainly come close on a number of occasions. I distinctly remember those nights before our ochem midterms or finals, where I would study all day, sleep at around 12 or 1, and then wake up again at around 3am to study until 6 or 7am, or whenever the test started. And there was that one time in high school, where there was a 10?-page research paper due, in history I think… or maybe it was English… anyway, I remember I never made it to the page limit, and only managed to reach 7 pages. I stayed up with a friend that night on AIM for company, as he was also working on the same paper. That’s actually the last time I recall staying up so late for a paper. But even then, I called it quits around 5:30am. (I actually messaged that friend – acquaintance really – last night about remembering that haha, and he actually did send a couple messages in the early morning to cheer me one, which was nice of him.)
Anyway, so today marks a milestone in my life, I suppose. Made it all the way through high school, college, and even the first 2 years of med school without having to succumb to pulling a full allnighter, but that was blasted away last night. I also probably broke a personal record in how long I spent overall on that paper. I literally spent all of this “spring break” on the paper, full days from morning until probably around 6-7pm (I did tend to lose motivation once I returned to my place and ate dinner). And I stayed up to finish it and didn’t get to nap until 5:30pm, which means I’ve effectively stayed up about 32 hours. That’s even more than the 30 hour famine’s back in high school! Haha. And It may or may not rival the traditional stay awake all night for the last day at PACO camp thing. I better get used to it though – goodness knows 3rd year, and especially intern year is going to require much more than that. Staying up all night and being so focused all day is actually an interesting experience. It makes you at once really aware of your body, but also very disconnected. I could literally feel my sympathetic nervous system running on overtime juice, pumping out adrenaline to keep me running just a bit longer. It feels kind of jittery and strange… I imagine it’s a bit like what it would feel like to be high on caffeine or some other drug. In a way it was kind of interesting – my mind felt very focused when I was working (as it did all throughout the night). Deadlines really do produce amazing wonders haha. But also, it was a kind of nice feeling, to actually be productive, really productive, for an extended period of time (both throughout these last 32 hours, but also throughout the week). I’ve realized it’s actually fun to get things done – something I’ve been missing a lot these last few months I think, as I’ve been waiting around for things/people to fall into place in order to begin my project. I guess this is what they call hitting “flow” in one’s work. It’s actually pretty cool. And maybe it means I’m finally interested in what I’m doing… or at least am somewhat invested in what I’m learning/the field I’m working in. Hopefully I can keep that momentum going, now that I’ve started.
The other thing being all sleep-deprived/high off adrenaline reserves is that after the goal, one becomes completely useless. Almost as soon as I finished turning in my paper, and as I headed back to my place, my walking speed plummeted. And I literally felt like I was moving through water, or molasses (the sensation of wading through something thick was tangible). And of course my brain function took a nose-dive. I actually talked on the phone with a friend on the way back, and I was not really making sense, and I was kind of weaving through the streets. People probably thought I was drunk or something haha. But yeah, It felt like this fuzziness over my head, which was really weird since just moments ago, my thoughts were razor sharp. Guess that’s the importance of attention.
So I finally got in a bit of a nap at 5:30pm, then woke up again 2 hours later randomly, realized I was really thirsty, and decided to make corn soup as both a comfort food and a thirst-quencher. (I’m quite satisfied with how it turned out by the way. Yum! ^.^) And then I gave myself a treat by reading Fairy Tail (which actually came out with 2.5 chapters this week! *Squee!*) Mmkay, time to hit the hay, as they say. (Probably a more relevant saying here than back home haha). Adios!