looool.  i don’t know if it’s morbid of me or what to find this hilarious and literally giggle out loud, but it’s passages like this that make me love animorphs (and i’m really glad i decided to buy some of these even though i wasn’t sure i particularly liked that book, because apparently i’ve forgotten which tidbits are in which book.  for example, this one has a cover of jake turning into a rhino.  i remember i liked reading about them turning into flies and tobias in the toilet, but didn’t remember it was in this book, and also completely forgot about this following scene):

—————–

(after jake’s just gotten swatted):

<Guys… I feel like maybe I’m getting weak,> I said. <Woozy.  My guts  are all over the place.  I think I may be dying.?

<Demorph!> Cassie yelled.

<He can’t!> Marco said.  <He’ll be seen.  There are probably Controllers on this plane!>

<I don’t care.  It’s Jake.  I’m not going to let him die!>

Suddenly, monsters all around me.  I saw them loom over me, hover in the air, then land.  They had huge, bulging eyes that kind of sparkled from all the tiny facets.  They had hideous faces with these long, vile tubes coming out, like tongues that could suck.  Their wings were gossamer.

They grabbed me with their clawed feet.

<Oh, poor Jake,> a voice cried desperately.

<Do we… do we scoop up the guts or what?>  (<– first wave of giggling started)

<Just hurry!>

<Jake!  Hang in there, man.  Hang in there, man.  Don’t go away on us.>

<Jake, hold on.  Hold on, we’ll save you.>

And then a horrible jolt.

<Ahhh!  Oh, man.  The leg I was holding just came off!> (<– round 2 of guffawing).

———

Yeah ok it’s probably pretty morbid.  My defense is that i know they live through it, as there’s still the majority of the book (and like 30+ books after that) left to go so it’s funny. anyway…. yeah love animorphs. XD

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

edit: they even throw in a few life lessons!  here’s some more excepts, a few more pages in:

<Okay, Cassie,> I said.  <I hate to do it, but take him out before he decides to shoot.>

Cassie turned her back to the guard.  She raised her black-and-white tail.  She turned her cute little face to look back over her shoulder.  Then she dropped the tip of her tail.

If you ever see a skunk go through that sequence, leave.  Leave, go far away, don’t look back.  The guard didn’t know that.

<Fire,> I told Cassie.

She fired.

The guard, who had stood up to a grizzly bear and a tiger, either of which could have turned him into raw hamburger, had had enough.  No one, but no one, can be brave when he’s been hosed by a skunk.

We hooked up with Marco and Ax and went outside.  I breathed a sigh of relief. “How’d it go?”

“We had no difficulties, Prince Jake,” Ax said.

“Yeah. No problem,” Marco said.  But he looked concerned.  Maybe a little sick.

“So, what’s the matter?”

He shrugged.  “No biggie. Once we got into the system it was a breeze.  We had plenty of time.  So I figured why not check out one or two  extra screen names.”

“Not exactly the reason we were there,” Tobias said.

“This girl whose screen name is PrtyGirl802.  She like sends me these very flirty kind of e-mails and IM messages.  You know.  Like she likes me and all.”

“So you found out who she is?” Cassie asaked. “That’s not very nice.”

“Yeah, no kidding.  It wasn’t nice.  I found out my online girlfriend PrtyGirl802 is actually a seventy-three-year-old retired postal worker.”

Advertisements