update: hmm i wonder if i burned it a little.. the crispy stuff tastes a little burnt. >.< unless that’s just how it’s supposed to taste…
haven’t had dinner and currently making … lard… i guess would be the technical term… for the first time. so it smells pretty good in here, though i really wonder how long it’s gonna take to get the smell out later, as pork fat is probably not what i want my place to smell like all the time. i went ahead and put my wig away to make sure the smell wouldn’t get sealed into it. my real hair, on the other hand, probably won’t fare as well. oh well. busted out the new pan and cover and everything.
why am i making lard you ask? well, because costco had $10 off pork loins for black friday, and in a moment of asian thrifty weakness, i caved b/c i got like a whole huge shank of pork that will last me like a year for only like $4 (plus tax). and there was fat on it. so i cut it off. and now i’m making lard. though i accidentally threw the large slices in first before i realized i probably should have cut them into smaller pieces, so there was some nice looking fat curlicues after cutting that i was tempted to just eat over rice, if i weren’t scared about getting cysticercosis or something lol. T__T
anyway, FINALLY finished sorting and editing all the FT photos from the shoot last weekend! So finally put up the first batch tonight (hence why no dinner yet) and will hopefully put up the rest in the next couple of days. Man, just uploading took like 1-2 hours though with captioning and proper credits, so yeah… not looking forward to doing the rest >.< Also what the heck FB, how do you unhide an album from timeline on a page?! it doesn’t seem to exist.
also got a bunch of books (and cosplay materials) for black friday! didn’t buy family christmas stuff yet this year – couldn’t find anything they might like so we’ll have to see. pretty excited about the books though – only $20 for 2 manga books (FT of course) and 8 “children’s” books (they were buy one get one free, though of course the ones they chose to be “free” were like the $1 ones, but still) and including a cheap children’s book i bought for donation purposes when they asked at the register. also found a whole set of brother’s grimm fairytales with illustrations (the paper cover’s like half torn off but the book and hardcover itself are fine) and a second book out of a trilogy from the free bin (the other book i have from the trilogy was also from the free bin before) – so good haul i’d say! ^.^
kk hope this lard thing finishes soon so i can eat some of the cracklings left or w/e it’s called. 😄
at lab at 2am. why? b/c editing photos. .___.||| this is killing me. it’s kinda fun though…i can see why people do it.
need to sleep. got a lot of books, which i’m pretty happy about. and cloth for next cosplay… if i end up going through with it. also got lotsa stuff from costco (sadly they don’t have the recipe books anymore).
ok need to head back. bye!
… just came across this article after seeing someone’s repost of a buzzfeed video on asexuals because it didn’t explain what that was exactly and i was curious… and after reading it, i was like wait. @___@ AM I ASEXUAL?!?! this might actually explain a lot… 0.o i’ve always had a hard time explaining to people how exactly i feel about people i like, and maybe this is why. and i’ve never found anyone “hot,” which is why i never use the term, because to me that word is used in association with wanting to jump that person, and i’ve never had that urge for anyone. i guess prior to this i never bothered looking into what “asexual orientation” meant, because i assumed it meant someone who was completely not interested in anyone romantically, but according to this article (and others like this one) that’s not the case. what is the case is that even if you have the drive, you don’t have the attraction, which is so true in my case. THAT explains why i’ve never really imagined doing much more with anyone than holding hands or cuddling, even for guys i liked, and stuff like that.
anyway was gonna write more on this, but got to talking to someone about it and we had a long conversation about that and random other things, so no more energy to post haha. bye
so. freaking. done. wanna know what i hate most? i finally know the answer to that (interview) question: what is your biggest pet peeve? at the moment, mine is: PEOPLE WHO ARE UNRELIABLE.
if you say you are going to show up, show up. if you aren’t, then say you aren’t and don’t. how hard is that to freaking understand? if it’s something that you want to do, that you’re excited about, and/or that someone’s planning and relying on you to answer… MAKE TIME. OR JUST SAY OUTRIGHT THAT YOU CAN’T DO IT.
ok. i’m probably being hypocritical here because I know for a fact there are times where I’ve said I can go to something and cancel, sometimes pretty last minute as well. But usually in those cases, someone is not COUNTING ON ME TO BE THERE and making time and planning for me to be there. that’s the freaking difference. AND, if i do need to cancel, I at least have the courtesy to tell people I can’t do it instead of just not showing up.
Yes, capitals and italics. pret-ty peeved at the moment.
and so yeah. i’m done. done w/ this whole stupid cosplay group. done with people who suck at planning and suck at following plans. done with people who are so hard to reach for even logistical planning purposes, for people who don’t care. and maybe that’s the crux of it. you’d think i’d have learned by now. people don’t care about things nearly as much as you do.
all of the above was written last Thursday night, when I got the last straw of a string of cancellations for a photoshoot that we’d planned for almost 2 whole months. Was going to post, but then internet died, so there you go. and then i was able to rant to someone the following day (well 2, but the first person *ahem* wasn’t super helpful, though they did take the edge off a little bit so i was more coherent the second time around lol) after even more stuff happened so yeah.
at this point, i’m mostly over it actually, because it was actually kinda fun on the shoot, we got a few decent pictures (our photographer is awesome and gave a really quick turnaround… he put pics up yesterday, which was the day right after, and he’ll be sending me the link today or so he says for downloads), and i’m one of those people that basically forgets about stuff once things are over. (one of the only reasons i’m coming back to this post is because it’s still open and i’m about to try installing this google chrome extension onetab thing at someone’s behest, which will supposedly change my life, but thought it might be good to finish off all these half-written posts first just in case lol). but i do feel like i should share this one story just because it’s so ridiculous:
so the really ironic thing is that i posted something on my cosplay FB account the same day right before writing the above rant, about how i was done w/ being on that account anymore because of all the unreliability and how i don’t have time for that, but if people wanted to reach me, they could still text/call etc. well, the girl that has been the WORST perpetrator of all of this throughout the year commented, asking about whether I had “hit that same academia explosion point” as well… i was like uh no. no. because I, unlike you, actually have decent time management/life skills and do not always cancel on things last minute because i can’t handle myself academically. i know how to handle my shizz and i also know how to tell people when i’m struggling or when i can’t make it. in fact, it’s because i knew how flaky she was that i didn’t even ask her to come originally, and only asked because the other girl couldn’t make it and that was a key character and she was the only other person i knew in the area who had that character. but not only did she not deliver on making the new version of the cosplay in time (gave her 3 weeks, checked in every week and she always said she’d start on it that day or the following day, obviously didn’t happen, and every time i also said if she felt too stressed or that she couldn’t make it to let me know and we could help her or it would be fine and i would find someone else, but nooo), then 2 days after the last time i checked in and she said it’d be fine, she posted to the entire group the week of the shoot about how her education had to come first and she wasn’t going to make it, but that she could still finish the cosplay for someone else to wear. i proceed to find a substitute. she then says sorry she wasn’t able to finish the new one, but someone could borrow her old one and she could get it to me either thurs night or friday. didn’t deliver on thurs, so i asked when to get it friday. she says 5:30pm. friday comes around, and around 4:30pm, i text to check if we’re still on for 5:30pm since i needed to figure out when/how we were going to meet. no response. a little after 5:30, text to ask what the plan is so i know whether to stay in lab longer or go back and shower. no response, so decide to go back and shower. then decide to call – goes straight to voicemail. and that happens every hour or so that i try to call. fb was also a no go as i could no longer find either of her accounts and assumed she had deleted it to work on her schoolwork. at this point i’m slightly desperate because the shoot is early the next morning and i don’t have a cosplay for the girl who subbed (who was the only other person at this point who seemed as excited about the shoot as i was). have to tell her the bad news (thankfully she pulled something together, along with a skirt i lent her, for which i’m so grateful for, but yeah.)
so by the day of the shoot, still no answer, and at this point (and some the previous night), i’m wondering if i should be worried whether something happened to her. and also i felt a little bad being upset with her because she basically has anxiety and i think maybe depression or some other problems, and so maybe she’s just going through a rough time. but then i find out from a mutual friend that she’s been on fb so at least he knows she’s alive. and it’s at that point that i lose pretty much all sympathy. because it means she didn’t answer her phone and blocked me b/c she knew i was going to ask her for the stuff. which, first of all, i’m the one who should be angry at her for not following through and basically screwing us over even though i’ve given her a ton of chances to back out throughout and she could have just straight up said she didn’t want to give it to me or w/e if she didn’t want to instead of saying all this stuff and then causing so much freaking stress in the last minute. but no, she decides to block me. which i’m like well i’m perfectly ok w/ that actually, but just the principle of her having the gall to do that when she was the one in the wrong is like wow. so yeah. that’s one of the many stories of people dropping out this last week, on top of having to deal with lots of research stuff (we ended up having <50% of the group we were supposed to have -.-||, and one of those was subbed 3 times).
needless to say, i’m done w/ ever trying to set something like this up ever again, or to initiate anything w/ this group of people. hoping we got at least some (more) good pictures though! unfortunately in all the strongest team photos, my pics all look pretty blah so far >.<
… what the. wordpress’s layout thing just changed. i don’t think i like this… >.< though it does make it easier to pick which blog to post in i guess.
anyway. so looks like i was right about all the guys who i thought were interested in me ~.~|| though thankfully one of them is now pursuing someone else for sure and another…well just admitted they were interested just now, but he’s also been talking to other girls so hopefully it’s not going to be too awkward… he wants to accompany me to checking places out tomorrow for the photoshoot though, so we’ll see how that goes… >.<
speaking of the photoshoot, people are dropping out like flies, which has been frustrating. lost one couple last week, another girl this morning who i JUST replaced.. and then lost another couple about an hour ago. this was freaking planned a MONTH ago guys! wtfrick. hate when ppl flake. especially after putting so much time into it. guh.
anyways, hopefully things will somehow work out ~.~||
church was good, and a cosplay friend came to visit. went location scouting for our photoshoot most of the day and it was nice to walk around in nature. and then we went to the joint b-day party where i learned how to use a wing chun dummy thing a little with some congruent block-punches and some block-pin-punch-counters and stuff. super fun and cool! and finally got to watch the guys grapple, which was cool ^.^ really want to learn MMA… but don’t want the concussions and broken limbs or w/e that come from it (like rousey’s KO… the med doctor-to-be in me cringed heavily w/ that.. and the fact that holmes kept punching her face after…)
i think it was mainly the training that got me excited. 😄 i think i have some bruises forming, but it was fun ^.^ had to basically spend the rest of the time at the party in celeste’s room doing hw that was due at midnight T__T but it was worth it. and i got it turned in in time, so all good 😀
oh, and happy birthday sasuke!
just randomly came across some wushu vids on newsfeed today – one was an old demo at cal that i’d never seen before (but was hilarious), and one of someone i know competing at worlds (?) today apparently. and then i went and found our really old groupset lol and now i really want to practice again T___T. hit up someone who does MMA who i’ve been talking to who wants to learn wushu so maybe we’ll finally get that going. i hope so! 😄
what’s kinda weird is that i feel like it’s easier to go into lower stances now, or to kick/bring back my leg faster, or get into some positions that were harder before. not sure if that’s due to lower weight in general or what. though of course the amount of time i can hold them is probably much lower lol. and definitely lost some flexibility along with the strength. weirdly i think my core is a little stronger now too… but again that might just be relative since everything has shrunk at this point. 0.o weird.
i feel like i’m a little more light on my feet now too. hmmm you know what? maybe fencing has a little something to do with that… maybe? sorta. i dunno it’s been a few years for that already now too… @__@ o.0
just went to a birthday dinner for a friend. like that day in irvine with bolgpc people, i was suddenly overcome with gratitude and happiness being with this group of people, and also a tinge of wistfulness, knowing that most of them will be gone in half a year’s time, and that this kind of time spent together is precious and should be cherished, as there isn’t much time left for all of us to be in proximity, maybe ever again like this after this year. i definitely think i’ll be a lot more lonely after this year than i was last year after my entering class left. they say the hardest year for md/phd’s is when their class leaves, but i just never felt that close with any of my former classmates enough to really feel their loss i guess. but this year… that’s going to be tough.
i don’t know if i’ve just been on my cosplay account too much or dealing with that community too much lately that makes me so appreciate my “real” friends so much more. and that in itself sounds kind of mean… i shouldn’t think of one group of friends as any less than another. but i guess that group is still mainly acquaintances for me, so that shouldn’t be that surprising maybe, but yeah… the culture and thoughts and everything is just so different. it will be interesting to see how this weekend plays out. i regrettably had to leave the birthday thing today a little early because i just realized before i went to it that i have hw due Sunday night, and since i hadn’t realized it needed to be so long, i actually basically had a full weekend planned in lab/outings, and sunday especially is pretty jam-packed. and yeah so we’ll see. the rest of this weekend (other than lab) will be spent w/ cosplay ppl, so it’ll be interesting to see how i feel about them and all this after tomorrow and sunday.
anywhoos, happy b-day russell! it was really good seeing you and everyone else again tonight! 🙂
also… i think i’m in the category of ppl for whom caffeine makes sleepy nowadays. it used to be the opposite – it used to keep me up at night if i ate even a bit, but now it just makes me sleepy. or maybe it’s cuz kitkats are comprised mainly of sugar (especially since it’s milk chocolate, not dark) so maybe it’s the sugar making me sleepy. who knows.
oh but yeah. also SUPER happy i actually found a legit sushi place in bham now! samurai japan – as silly as the name sounds, its sushi, tempera, green tea ice cream, and stuff were all on point. @__@ so happy!!!
today was probably the first day i got up here before 9am all year i feel like lol… or at least on a day where i didn’t have to meet someone early in the morning (also the conferences didn’t count since those were mandatory; plus it was a different time zone). you can accomplish so much more when you get up early – who knew? it’s only noon and i’ve cleaned up some stuff, almost finished my homework, and can still go to lab and THRS and do the jam session with time to spare. craziness. XP