today’s been a pretty good day. oddly woke up a couple hours earlier than expected, especially given how late i ended up sleeping. sent some messages last night to him about how if we want to keep our boundaries and relationship clear, then we need to stop talking until either i can get over him, or he finally decides to seriously explore the reason for the break-up in the first place (our religious differences).  afterwards, i felt a really strong sense of peace, and woke up this morning pretty peaceful as well. it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, so i know that was the right decision.  which is really interesting b/c just yesterday, all throughout the day, i was missing him really badly.  he had responded part-way, saying he understood and respected my decision, and wasn’t ready to go through the in depth search yet, and that he would message later. i don’t think he will, so i just went ahead and said yeah, i know, that’s up to him, and thanked him for understanding. told him my feelings and said my goodbyes. and i feel ok. a little wistful maybe, but overall, i’m feeling pretty happy, like i’ve finally closed a chapter of my life and can move forward.  praise God.

it probably also helped that the weather was nice today – it was bright and sunny, but with a slightly cold breeze-y wind – one of my favorite CA type weathers. 🙂

i will admit i am still checking my phone to see if he has read my last messages (i don’t expect an answer – i guess part of me just wants to know that he’s seen it, as a final closure to this situation). but given it’s around 12am there now, i’m guessing he won’t see it tonight, especially if he hasn’t fixed his home internet yet.

but yeah, it’s a good day for a new start. 1st day of May – didn’t even know think about the date until this morning. it’s taken a full ~4 months, but i think i’m finally able to move forward.

also just saw that my article is no longer an “advance article” and is now officially published i guess for the may issue haha. yay i suppose XD.

it’s a new day. a new week, new month. time to stop thinking about this and start focusing on writing and graduating!

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